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Should a Man Wear a Wedding Ring?
Strange as it may seem the use of a wedding
ring by men was not common until recently. Whereas women have
worn wedding rings for eons, men have not. The use of rings
as a symbol of everlasting love enshrined in marriage can
be traced back thousands of years. But not so much for men.
It was, in fact, during the second world war that the use
of wedding rings by men became more common. (Note that men's
wedding rings and men's wedding bands are interchangeable,
both meaning the same thing.)
It became the custom for US soldiers going to war to publicize
their marital status by the wearing of a man's wedding ring.
They were happy to make public their commitment to their wife
by the wearing of a public symbol that declared that commitment
to all. Given that this habit of wearing men's wedding bands
was reasonably new it was all the more creditable that these
men were willing to forego the marital obscurity available
to them from not wearing a ring and actively chose to make
a public statement about their choice.
Men's wedding rings have become increasingly more common
since that time. Today it is probably as common for a newly
married man to wear a ring as not. This may be due to several
factors. The modern man may consider it his duty to choose
to make the same public marital statement as his wife will.
And his wife may well consider it a condition of the marriage
that he do so. After all, in these days of equality, if she
is prepared to make a statement then should he not do so as
well?
Despite the fact that the wearing of a ring by a woman is
a matter of choice, it is in fact almost obligatory due to
the fact that it is so common. Many women do not even consider
the possibility of not wearing one. Often, however, a man
usually considers the wearing of a man wedding ring very carefully.
There are a number of issues to consider. Firstly, is he
concerned about a public display of his marital status? Some
men, whether rightly or wrongly, are threatened by this. Others
are not in the least concerned.
Secondly whilst the wearing of jewelry by women is so common
as to go unremarked that is not necessarily the case for men.
For many men the wearing of men's wedding bands is just a
case of being asked to wear jewelry. Men often do not feel
comfortable wearing jewelry and in many cases have never done
so before. Whilst some men see their wedding band as different
to wearing ordinary jewelry, others feel just the same as
if they were being asked to wear ear rings. "It's just
not done by men". The author, for example, wears a man
wedding band, but would never consider wearing any other form
of jewelry.
And as many men have never worn any form of jewelry before
they have no idea what it will feel like to have something
permanently on the finger. Is it heavy? Does it rub? Silly
as it may seem to women this can be of concern to some men.
(If this genuinely is of concern it is quite possible to
find a cheap jewelry shop, buy the cheapest ring available
and wear it for a while. See exactly what it feels like. And
find out your size at the same time.)
Men's wedding rings are, in the eyes of some men, effeminate.
"Real men" don't wear rings or jewelry at all. This
is becoming less of an issue as the wearing of a man's wedding
ring becomes more common, but is still an issue with many
men.
Culture is also a consideration. In many cultures the wearing
of wedding rings by men would never be considered. Men must
think about how their particular culture, and also their religion,
would view the wearing of a wedding band.
There are also practical considerations. Many men are engaged
in trades where the wearing of a man wedding band would be
downright dangerous. Although unlikely it is quite possible
for a ring to get caught in machinery. In some jobs a ring
cannot be worn on the job, and must be removed. This can also
apply to women.
Ultimately though, the wearing of a men's ring is just one
of the many choices the man will have to make once he makes
the commitment to marry. And it is often a choice made by
the couple together, maybe one of the first they make in conjunction
about their wedding.
Which finger is the ring worn on, and why?
Generally a man's wedding band is worn on the ring finger,
the same as for women. The ring finger, for those unmarried
men not familiar with the concept, is the fourth finger of
the left hand. This is considered to be the finger closest
to the heart.
This notion came originally from the ancient Greeks who believed
that this finger had an artery which flowed straight to the
heart. Whilst anatomically incorrect this makes for good fable.
So you have both decided that he will wear a men's wedding
ring!
Once the man or couple have made the decision to purchase
a men's wedding ring for him there are still choices to make.
Do they want to wear a matching set? Or does he prefer that
his ring looks quite different to his wife's. It is perfectly
possible for a couple to buy a ring set where the style of
the rings match perfectly, or even with matching engraved
messages of love.
Generally though, even where the couple are to wear a matching
ring set, the two rings are different. It is more common for
the man's wedding ring to be wider than the woman's. This
is because men's hands and women's hands are different. A
woman usually has narrower finer fingers, and so a narrower
band suits her hand. A man on the other hand has wider chunkier
fingers and so a wider man wedding band is more suited.
This often results in the mans ring costing more than the
woman's ring even with matching styles, as the mans ring uses
more, often expensive, material.
There are many innovative styles available now. Many men
prefer a simple unadorned band, however others enjoy highly
decorated styles which make a loud statement. The wearing
of, for example, very wide and highly adorned Celtic rings
is becoming much more common.
When considering the styles of men's wedding rings it is
well worth thinking about the personality of the individual.
While different men have very different personalities different
rings will suit different personalities as well. A loud outgoing
man, for example, can wear a loud outgoing unique men's ring.
There are many different ring materials which also reflect
the personality of the individual. Titanium or Platinum are
both becoming much more popular. Whilst diamonds are not,
of course, as popular with men as with women, they do make
a clear statement which pleases some men who choose them.
Diamond men's rings clearly say "I can afford it"
or at least the big ones do. But it can be a brave man who
chooses to wear a large diamond band.
Ultimately there are no rules about choosing a man wedding
band. It is up to either the man or the couple together to
make a decision. Will he or won't he. There are a variety
of considerations. First, will he wear one? Once that decision
is made in the affirmative then there is a whole world of
choice about styles, widths, materials and the type of statement
the ring makes, both for the man and the woman.
But once he has his ring on it is rare that he decides that
he doesn't like it. And even if he doesn't, it is rare that
the woman will let him take it off!
Article written by Peter Crump
http://www.weddingvendors.com/planning/articles/should-man-wear-wedding-ring/
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